The cycle of family violence thrives on silence

Sep 22nd, 2009 In: Press Sin by Silence Tour By: Comments 0

Article from the Bakersfield Californian –

It isn’t big enough. That’s what I think of the venue for the 10th annual Domestic Violence conference tomorrow (8 a.m. to 4 p.m. at Hodel’s, cost $35).

I came to that conclusion after watching the documentary that will be screened at the conference titled “Sin by Silence.”

Everyone should see this film.

And afterward, we need to have people on hand like Nada Yorke, Glenda Love, Judy Dulcich, Brenda Clubine and others who can tell us how we can help.

Because when you see this movie, you’ll want to know what you can do.

The film looks at the cases of several women imprisoned at Corona for killing their abusive husbands.

Clubine, until until about a year ago, was among those inmates. She will be the featured speaker at the conference.

The film focuses on a group she started that is dedicated to stopping the cycle of violence that trapped her and her fellow inmates.

The group is called Convicted Women Against Abuse (CWAA). It’s the only inmate-run support group of its kind and was largely responsible for changing state law in 1992 and again 2002 so that courts could consider a woman’s previous abuse in cases where she was accused of violence against her partner.

Clubine killed her husband one night during one of his many rages when she smashed a bottle over his head. In 1986 she was sentenced to 15 years to life. She got out in 2008.

Her story is sadly similar to those of the other women in the film, one of them from Bakersfield — Glenda Crosley.

None of the women in the hour-long film claims to be innocent.

They all wanted to deliver the message out that silence kills, said director/producer Olivia Klaus.

“That’s the core of this problem,” said Klaus, who spent eight years attending CWAA meetings in Corona getting to know the women. “We need to create an environment where victims of domestic violence feel comfortable asking for help. It could save lives.”

That’s where people like Yorke, past president of the Domestic Violence Advisory Council; Love, the current president; Dulcich, a Kern County Superior Court Judge; and others will come in handy at the conference. They can tell us what resources are available, what’s needed and how regular people can get involved and make a difference.

This is an epidemic that needs attention, much more than we’ve given it so far.

Already this year, we’ve had 16 domestic violence fatalities — according to the advisory council, a record-breaking year.

If you think domestic violence can’t happen in your world, you’re wrong.

I thought the same thing, as did Klaus, and we were both shocked when we discovered it lurking among our close circle of friends and colleagues.

The worst part is now knowing how to help, even where to go to get information about shelters, legal help, restraining orders, financial aid and so on.

That’s where this conference comes in. Think of it like CPR training, only you’re arming yourself with knowledge.

“While I was being abused,” Clubine told me, “if someone had just said ‘I’ll be there for you,’ I wouldn’t have gotten to the point where I felt like I had to protect my life that night.

“If people had been there for any of us, we wouldn’t be here (in prison).”

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